Dating Tips For Men: The Most Important Techniques in Pickup

Of all the questions that has been emailed to me, there is one that continues to appear...

"What is the most important skill to develop in pickup?"

I believe the very nature of this question is problematic. It somehow implies that there is a quick solution to our dating problems and that is simply not the case.

If there is one thing I've discovered in my trainings, it is this: Powerful pickup techniques can certainly help a client, but not NEARLY as much as identifying and eliminating previously existing bad habits.

Most of the time the client is not aware of these habits, and it requires some real work on my part just to convince them that they exist in the first place.

This is one of the things that I believe is not right in most of the dating tips for guys or pickup training out there...It teaches a methodology or system without taking into account the individual hangups that the client most certainly has.

The unique training I've developed with Dr. Robert Epstein (one of the most respected psychologists in the world) not only presents a comprehensive pickup system to master, but the exercises are individually tailored to each client.

I don't want to get too sale-sy, but I want you to know that I am actually making a point here:

The most important pickup skill you can develop is to become more aware of your own bad habits...and come up with effective solutions to help get rid of them.

In other words, you can master every damn dating tips for men and pickup technique that you want... but if every time you open you mouth, flecks of saliva spray her in the face... you've pretty much failed no matter what.

One could argue that there are many other techniques and dating advice that are 'the most important.'

For example, we are very big on relaxation here... It is essential to give every client some techniques on how to minimize stress when faced in a tough situation.

But there is one other skill that I feel deserves mention...In fact, this is the skill that in my not-so-humble opinion separates the men from the boys in the dating game:

The ability to cope with resistance.

Lets face it, most of us have had an easy lay at one point or another. Hopefully you know what I'm talking about...It was just ON...You liked her, she liked you, you were horny, so was she... Escalation to sex was as smooth as butter.

This kind of lay doesn't impress me at all.

Not that I turn it down when it happens, of course;)

What impresses me is how a client performs in the face of real resistance. In other words, she is blocking your attempts to push the relationship forward. Most of the times, this resistance is due a mistake you could have made.

And we all make mistakes, so get used to it.

The best seductions I've ever done were always the ones where I made a critical error...and was able to recover.

So the next time you screw up on an approach or a date, remember that it is actually an incredible opportunity to see if you can bounce back...

Trying to Resurrect a Dead Relationship?

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell

Have you heard of the movie, The Night of the Living Dead? Well when you are trying to hold onto a relationship that is over, it's not a movie anymore, it's your reality! When one person doesn't want to be in a relationship and the other person is still holding on it is literally like trying to resurrect someone from the dead.

This is your wakeup call. Why keep trying to do the impossible? Where is it getting you? How is it making you feel? Has it worked yet? And, when are you going to finally give up?

Wanting to call just one more time, texting to get a response (which is NEVER the response you want), going to places where you might run into them is simply a waste of your time and energy. Your time and energy would be better spent on accepting reality and focusing on anything else but what you are focused on.

Carrying around the painful emotions of a relationship that is over and harboring "if only" hopes is weighing you down and is the exact reason you remain stuck. Sure you can keep torturing yourself if you really want to but why would you?

Look, no one likes to be on the receiving end of unrequited love. But if you find yourself there you have to take the steps to let go and stop holding onto something that is never going to happen. By not accepting the truth and holding onto some kind of imagined hope you are only hurting yourself and putting your life on hold.

Plus, the day someone does come along you will have gone from one minute hopelessly yearning over a dead relationship to all of a sudden open to this new love? That is called carrying baggage into a new relationship!

Take the time to heal. Stop banging your head against a wall wanting something that is over. And, realize that there really is a whole world out there waiting for you to open up to it. So, stop being so emotionally tied to the past that YOU become the living dead.

No person is worth it, especially one who isn't even a part of your life anymore. Pick yourself up, open your eyes and start a new journey forward and leave the past behind. It will be well worth your effort when you finally let go.

In the end you ultimately choose whether you are going to hold on or let go by your actions and your thoughts. So choose them wisely!