When a relationship becomes a regular emotional and mental battle ground, it is most likely that either you or your partner will take refuge outside of your relationship. That is why it’s no surprise that one of the major causes of infidelity is the frequent fighting and arguing in the relationship.
But to be realistic about all this, there is no perfect relationship. Arguments and friction do exist in every union, but when chaos takes a whole part of your togetherness, then that’s when you need to be caution and take action to stop fighting if you want to prevent cheating.
To prevent cheating and save your relationship, take note of these relationship advice on how to prevent cheating.
* Take an immediate action to stop the blame game. Seriously, if you want to prevent cheating, there is no point blaming each other. It’s a total waste of time. It blinds both of you from seeing the truth. The longer you point a finger, the longer you let the other person feel guilty, the longer you prolong the problem. So instead of saying, “This is all your fault…” or “You should’ve….” say, “Its okay, what’s done is done… let’s just do something about this before it gets worse…”
* Is it really worth it? Before you start another shouting feat, think- is it worth all the energy? Is it worth the disturbance? List down the consequences of each fight brings- to your work, home, mind, body, and spirit.
* Being happy is always better than being right. Sometimes you just have to smile and let it go… to just nod and give a hug. Even if you are absolutely certain that your money management is better than his, let it go. Be patient and just support him.
* Choose the right words. Instead of saying, “You’re always out! You are so irresponsible…” say “I like being with you and spending more time with you, I wish that we could spend more time together. Is there any possible way you can squeeze in family time in you schedule?”
* Avoid being a fault-finder if you want to prevent cheating. A fault- finder lives a very exhausting life. You owe it to yourself to stop this bad habit of looking for faults and mistakes. When you are plagued to criticize, stop and divert your attention to what you love, admire and appreciate about your partner.
* Let go of the grudges. Like the fault-finder, a person who carries a grudge lives a very heavy life. The best solution here is to let go of whatever mistake your partner did in the past.
* Have common goals and desires. When you and your partner have one focus and one goal you have something greater that hold you together. This situation can help you step back for a while and assess if an argument is really necessary or not.
* Stop talking behind your partner’s back. I know that it’s helpful to ask for clarity about your chaotic situation from a friend, but you have to be careful how you do it. Talking about your marital complains to other people will help you focus more on the things that irritates and annoys you about him.
Fighting is inevitable in every relationship. Just be sure that when you fight, you don’t lose the love and respect for each other. When you fight, do it for a solution, not for selfish reasons or power play. And most of all, never ever breed anger when you fight. Anger brings a long string of negativity in your relationship. So as much as you can, prevent fighting to prevent cheating.
2012年8月3日星期五
2012年7月9日星期一
Marriage Trouble Ahead: 3 Hints That Yours is Headed South
Marriage can either be the greatest thing on earth or your worst nightmare. If you suspect that your marriage is in trouble, you’ll find several things to look for, as well as what you can do to break out of that downward spiral.
For some marriages, communication is admittedly rare, and usually involves a hurried text message or succinct voice mail. You just seem to not really talk with your partner anymore, and when you do, it’s not real substantial stuff. Life for both you and your spouse is crazy, complicated. I get that.
Whose got time for quality time with so much going on? For you, quality time may be talking to your spouse over that rare lunch break. Yet, this may be a huge clue that your marriage isn’t what it could be and may be headed for trouble.
If you both spend more time at work during the week and then with your own friends on the weekends, stop and think what’s missing. It’s your relationship. You can’t build something deep and meaningful to both of you if you’re never together.
Maybe the only thing keeping you together these days is the kids. If that's the case, you’re marriage may be headed south, and quick. Many couples stick with a poor, unsatisfying relationship just for the children. In my opinion, that’s a huge cop out that gives each partner the excuse to not work on their relationship.
While most men would prefer sex on a regular basis, consistent and quality intimacy that satisfies both partners is what’s healthy for marriage. The lack of activity in the bedroom could very well be another sign that your marriage is in trouble.
Perhaps you fantasize about that hot babe at work, or that really sweet guy at the coffee shop. Instead, your marriage may be the last thing on your mind; you’ve stopped fantasizing and gotten involved with someone besides your spouse. You’re playing with fire here: seeing another person secretly behind your spouse’s back may be exciting temporarily, but it spells disaster in the long run.
Have you recognized any of these trouble signs in your own marriage: you and your spouse no longer spend quality time together, your kids are your only real connection to each other, you communicate primarily by email, sex is a three letter word, and you’re secretly seeing other people? Once you’ve recognized that your marriage is in trouble – which is half the battle -- it’s time to take action. After all, it’s never too late to save it, if you want to.
For some marriages, communication is admittedly rare, and usually involves a hurried text message or succinct voice mail. You just seem to not really talk with your partner anymore, and when you do, it’s not real substantial stuff. Life for both you and your spouse is crazy, complicated. I get that.
Whose got time for quality time with so much going on? For you, quality time may be talking to your spouse over that rare lunch break. Yet, this may be a huge clue that your marriage isn’t what it could be and may be headed for trouble.
If you both spend more time at work during the week and then with your own friends on the weekends, stop and think what’s missing. It’s your relationship. You can’t build something deep and meaningful to both of you if you’re never together.
Maybe the only thing keeping you together these days is the kids. If that's the case, you’re marriage may be headed south, and quick. Many couples stick with a poor, unsatisfying relationship just for the children. In my opinion, that’s a huge cop out that gives each partner the excuse to not work on their relationship.
While most men would prefer sex on a regular basis, consistent and quality intimacy that satisfies both partners is what’s healthy for marriage. The lack of activity in the bedroom could very well be another sign that your marriage is in trouble.
Perhaps you fantasize about that hot babe at work, or that really sweet guy at the coffee shop. Instead, your marriage may be the last thing on your mind; you’ve stopped fantasizing and gotten involved with someone besides your spouse. You’re playing with fire here: seeing another person secretly behind your spouse’s back may be exciting temporarily, but it spells disaster in the long run.
Have you recognized any of these trouble signs in your own marriage: you and your spouse no longer spend quality time together, your kids are your only real connection to each other, you communicate primarily by email, sex is a three letter word, and you’re secretly seeing other people? Once you’ve recognized that your marriage is in trouble – which is half the battle -- it’s time to take action. After all, it’s never too late to save it, if you want to.
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